During this journey my friends have expressed how proud they are of me and enviable they are of my ability to stay motivated. The ability to stick to something wholeheartedly for a year and having the same motivation, if not more, than when I started, it inspires them. I tend to always look at them baffled when they say these things, partially because, although I like compliments, I get severely embarrassed when given one to my face but mainly because it hasn't been hard to stay motivated throughout the year. I have a goal I want to reach, I have a fitness level I want to reach, I am not there yet, so I need to keep going. I see the changes in myself and I like them, so every change spotted adds to my motivation. I may even be too motivated, I have had to reevaluate my process in the past because I was over-training and under-eating at more than one point during this journey.
However, staying positive has been a whole different struggle. One that goes up and down with every passing day. Like most weight loss journeys, mine hasn't been completely linear. I do not see consistent losses every week. Sometimes the scale won't move for a month. These weeks are hard. I can be really rough on not only my body (over training to break through) but also my self image because I take out my frustration in the mirror sometimes. I know I put in the effort. I diagnose and overthink my whole system of weight loss. I dissect everything I am doing to the point of obsession and wonder why my scale isn't reflecting my effort. I read EVERY SINGLE article on why the scale may not be moving. Those weeks are the worst and while I keep going, the stress that this causes is sometimes unbearable. (And according to a few articles, may be the reason I am not losing weight. Vicious cycle).
So how do you stay positive during the weeks the scale decides it does not want to move? Realize that weight loss is not perfectly linear. Especially when you get closer to your goal weight. The pounds take more time and effort to get off. But mostly you have to put your full trust in the process. If you are putting in the work and eating correctly, the scale will move again. It is just a matter of time. I always tell myself, "the first 80 pounds came off, it is only a matter of time before the rest follows." This is after dissection and finding nothing wrong with my eating or exercise habits. And don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes these things happen, and there is no point in beating up your self image because, as I've mentioned in a previous post, those two things should not correlate. It is disappointing but you are never going to get further if you don't keep trying. And you won't want to keep trying if you are beating yourself up, you need to pump yourself up instead. (That was really cheesy... I apologize.... Never-mind, I don't apologize. "Pump Up the Jams" is now in my head to back up that sentence).
Now patience isn't my strong suit, so I know that sometimes no matter how many positive things you tell yourself, it is still hard to see a light through the darkness. But even I know that at some point I should put faith in myself. I know what I am doing. I know when I am cheating and should not expect scale movement. I know when I am on point and if the scale doesn't move, then wait it out. So it is easy to regain a positive disposition when I remember to trust myself and what I am doing.
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